Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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