At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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