I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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