he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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