see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize