You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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