By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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