Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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