threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You've changed since you got that strap on
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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