In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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