i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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