when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize