I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
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Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
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Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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