i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize