I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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