I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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