you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
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Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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