I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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