May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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