i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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