i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize