i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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