Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
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It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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