When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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