remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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