Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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