I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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