Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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