I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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