When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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