What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize