May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
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All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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