he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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