can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize