Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
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is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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