great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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