If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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