I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Is it because I queefed?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize