He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I smell like Dick and happiness
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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