$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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