How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize