She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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