Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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