Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
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She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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