i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
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He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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