AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
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