I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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