Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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