okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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