I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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